Carpe Diem.
Don’t people just love to tell you. Carpe diem they holler. Seize the day!
I wonder what, exactly, does this mean? How do you feel when you hear that demand, that command? Do you feel inspired and uplifted? Do you feel under pressure, a critical gaze and judged? Can a highly sensitive person seize the moment, seize the day and stay healthy, stay sane?
It’s now a year since I discovered a lump and began the journey of diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer. I am fortunate that it was discovered relatively early and I was spared radical surgery to the breast and a lumpectomy and breast conservation surgery sufficed. The pesky monster had spread to the lymph nodes, however and I had all the lymph nodes under my right arm removed. So all in all, a big deal. Surgery was preceded by a chemical cocktail of chemo and immunotherapies, then followed by physiotherapy, radiotherapy and ongoing immunotherapy (just 5 more to go now!) and the start of at least 5 years or hormone pills which can cause weight gain, osteoporosis etc. etc. etc. Lovely …
Thankfully they say it all worked and I appear to be clear … so far so amazing and I am truly grateful since, as horrible as it all was, I know some people have things much worse.
Now, though, as I start to come through towards the light at the end of the tunnel, I am feeling the pressure. Feeling that I should be one of those inspirational cancer survivors who takes on the world (because life is too short….) – who gets busy. Who fills every moment with life experiences. Who achieves who is constantly active.
And yet I know that would break me. I have to live by a different set of norms.
Sure, I am a warrior as well as a worrier, I am tough as well as fragile. But I cannot just do it – or at least sustain that level of activity. I cannot go-go-go … I need more downtime, breaks, time to unplug, zone out (and zone in to my inner life) and recharge.
All very HSP. All very self-care necessities for HSPs. Yet I worry about time. About time passing me by. About being judged and deemed less than because our culture doesn’t value time spent doing nothing.
People may crave it. More time to chill. Time to rest. Time to enjoy the moment. Time to be with friends and family and loved ones and animals and a beautiful sunset or whatever floats their boat. But society doesn’t allow it, doesn’t approve. Because we supposed to stay forever on the hamster wheel of “productivity” and making money? I’d love to hear your thoughts on that…
So, we come back to the beginning. Full circle. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Seize the moment. What does it mean to you?
What can it be to seize the moment/day an HSP way? How about we honour our need for more balance. More rest. For doing things quickly when we feel like acting quickly and more slowly when we need to slow down.
I’m not suggesting HSPs have to do everything at a snail’s pace all the time. I see that each HSP has different levels of stamina, endurance and tolerance of different things. There is no one-size-fits-all in how we are affected by DOES (see Dr Elaine Aron). We share tendencies in common but individual levels and experiences are as diverse as in any other population.
But the world is crying out for restorative time. And that could be our cues as HSPs to lead the way. To paraphrase an old song, I’d like to teach the world to rest in perfect harmony ….
So STOP! Give yourself a break. Seize the moment, seize the day. Carpe diem an HSP way …
With love and sensitivity
© Annie Wigman – April 2019