Where to start? Hello! And welcome to Permission to be YOU – @lovingyourhighlysensitivelife
Here’s where we meet and greet and get to know each other. For a flavour of me, think of a kaleidoscope. Think disco mirror-ball. A coat of many colours. Tapas, mezze, thali, box of chocolates. Pic ‘n mix. Multi-faceted, deep, complex and impossible to pigeon-hole.
Definitely an HSP (highly sensitive person) – mildly introverted yet with a side serving of HSS (high sensation seeking). Like all HSPs, I enjoy a creative imagination and rich inner world. I definitely need lots of breaks and downtime to retreat and recharge when overstimulated and overwhelmed – yet also admit to a low boredom threshold and an extroverted sociable streak.
I wasn’t given a middle name by my parents but if I had to think of one, it would probably begin with P – as in P for Paradox!
Sssshhh! don’t tell anyone, but whilst I love deep and thoughtful conversations, I’m perfectly happy to engage in a dash of small-talk. I know …. yes I’ve often heard …. small-talk can feel tortuous for many an HSP or deep introvert. But I rather enjoy it in small doses.
It’s like a holiday from all that deep mental processing we do. A cognitive rest break. Plus, I know how important it is to stay in a social loop. To be clear, I don’t advocate malicious gossip. Noooo – not that kind of small talk – but those little pleasantries and informal exchanges of information that oil the wheels of society and can prove so helpful as we move through life.
What, if any of this, do you recognise in you?
I mention it to illustrate how all of us HSPs are the same and different. We share commonalities and we display individual differences. Acknowledging that paradox informs my approach to high sensitivity and my work
How I wish I had known about sensory processing sensitivity and the highly sensitive person when Dr Elaine Aron first coined the phrase in the 1990s!
The world of the HSP finally came to my notice around the middle of 2015 and particularly since early 2017 I’ve been passionate about learning as much as I can and being as well informed as I can be.
Being able to place and unpack my early experiences within the context of being an HSP – ie someone with a highly sensitive, easily overstimulated and highly reactive nervous system has made a massive difference on how I view and understand the decisions and choices I have made.
Knowing that I am not alone in being acutely sensitive to and impacted by my surroundings – that around 20% – so 1 in 5 of the wider population are like me – is so reassuring!
Knowing also that whilst the majority of HSPs tend towards introversion, around 30% of HSPs are extroverts and around 30% are what’s called High Sensation Seeking (HSS-HSP) has helped me to further refine my place in the HSP world.
I’m definitely an HSP – hugely sensitive to loud noise, to changes in temperature and humidity, to information overwhelm, the pressure to juggle and prioritise impossible priorities but I don’t classify myself as a deep introvert. I am also very intuitive and highly empathetic but don’t classify myself as an empath. Whilst I’m mildly more introverted than extroverted I also have an extroverted and HSS side to my psyche.
This gives me life experience from many perspectives and enables me to see and appreciate things from multiple points of view -including that of non HSPs …. I believe this helps me be open to possibilities and relatively free from dogma and rigid thinking.
Before my HSP-aware days, I gained an honours degree in psychology, trained as a coach and as a fashion journalist to boot! Not necessarily in that order. I am a lover of paradox and multi-perspectives. I see myself and both playful and professional, spontaneous/creative and analytical, bold and cautious. Nature-lover and city-lover, sociable and private. Sometimes very HSP and sometimes not at all.
In addition to enjoying small-talk, I love coffee and sunshine and nature and high style.Does that all make me an HSP Heretic?!
I grew up and am currently based in London UK (hence my British English spelling), studied for my degree in Manchester and have spent time in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv and on a kibbutz. I miss the beach….. I was raised by older parents and lost both my parents while still young. There are times when I have felt like a “little orphan Annie …” and I would say that, in addition to constantly learning as much as I can about high sensitivity, my approach is also trauma informed. I take a deep interest in transcending developmental trauma and CPTSD and people-pleasing behaviours. I am not a therapist but I value being educated and well-informed
I am a cancer survivor, lover of music and dance – and singing and dancing, art and design, painting (see the Lily pic on the Home Page) walking, writing, chatting, people-watching, daydreaming and cooking … (oh, and making and eating chocolates and cocktails) – and seeing people come to know themselves and ask for what they want. So watch this space to see how life unfolds …
Like a kitten with a ball of string (the original name for my blog!) I bring a playful and inquisitive curiosity to life and I love when things appear to fall into place with ease, as if by magic.
I intend for you a sense of comfort and ease in your life and your relationships as you get to know yourself, what you value, what you despise. What you yearn for, what you cannot abide. I wish for you to build the confidence to set clear boundaries and ask for what you want and need. Plus being able to employ the strategies that can help you when/if you can’t get exactly what you want – or not right away.
I intend for you to find your individual and unique sweet-spots of perfect balance. Balance between taking the risks that come with engaging in the world – and the rewards those risks can bring – and the knowledge of when to draw a line in the sand and say NO…
…. When to set a deal-breaker boundary and when to allow the flexibility to develop and grow. To accept the inner core of who and how you are. And to acknowledge that assumptions, perspectives and limitations can change.
I wish for you to be discerning. To not worry about every sweeping statement you might read about HSPs. With some you might feel a deep resonance and harmony. A sense of recognition and home. And other might leave you cold.
Remember, one size does NOT fit all
Yes, I know that’s a lot about me. But this is the About Annie page … I’m presenting all this info in service of you.
The unique, wonderful, individual HSP You. I’d love to help you emerge from the shadows. To develop and show your true colours, your true voice. To participate in life in a way that honours, respects and feels fun, easy, comfortable, authentic, honourable and right to you. To feel seen, heard, appreciated, understood, valued, cherished, sought-after, highly-prized, able to ask for what you want and get your needs met.
I wish also to improve the lot of the HSP in general. To enhance relationships and understanding between HSPs and the not so sensitive majority – and between different HSPs with diverse felt experience and needs. One size does not fit all …
To sum up the experience of working with me, call to mind a Dancing Tree – like a palm which bends in the wind so it doesn’t snap – and huge solid oak with deep, grounded roots. Flexibility and firm foundations. A creative partnership from which to learn, develop, grow, launch and fly. In your very own HSP way.