What did the square peg say to the round hole? “Ouch!”
“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good, oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood …”
Bennie Benjamin, Horace Ott and Sol Marcus
Feeling misunderstood and like a square peg in a round hole or some other kind of misfit is an all too common experience for many an HSP.
My wish is that here, you will feel understood, comfortably at home – and that both HSP and non-HSP readers will find a safe space to explore, understand and appreciate each other.
My vision is that the needs of the not as sensitive majority and the needs of the significant HSP minority (around 15-30% of the population) will achieve parity and be met equally.
What we have here is an offering for coaching, consultancy, discovery, ideas sharing, learning, artistic and creative self-expression. A balm for the highly sensitive soul. A hub where you can be you. And meet others who are different to you in a place of safety.
It’s worth noting that highly sensitive are as diverse as any other community. Yes, there are things we have in common – we share an experience of Sensory Processing Sensitivity – but how that shows up in an individual HSP can vary widely.
HSPs are acutely aware of and impacted by their environment -physical and emotional – and process all those inputs deeply. See Sensory Processing Sensitivity and DOES. High in empathy, intuition and emotional reactivity, HSPs can be super able to join the dots and read between the lines of what’s going on – to see what lies beneath. Many are painfully sensitive to noise and extremes of climate. Some can’t handle coffee. Some get hangry if they skip a meal. Some despair of small-talk. But not all. The majority tend to be introverts and may seem cautious, risk averse and socially anxious whilst others are more extroverted and can be bold, spontaneous and high-sensation-seeking.
There is no one-size-fits-all
Whilst HSPs make up around 15-30% of any population, there is a 50-50 split between HSP men and women. Yes, you might find it hard to believe given the macho cultures many of us live in, but 50% of all HSPs are men … and in a macho culture, male HSPs can find particular challenges coming to terms with their true nature.
So, what is proposed here? A tailor-made, custom-built, couture service designed to fit you.
Regardless of levels of introversion and extroversion, all HSPs need above average downtime to regroup and recover from the over-stimulation we experience and deep mental processing that we do. We need to retreat and recharge. We need that to be accommodated and fully appreciated and understood. And, in the fight to get our needs met, we lead the way in helping everyone else to get the rest they need too!
Sweet-Spots
The way I see it, each of you has your unique sweet-spots. Those perfect points of balance between engagement in the world and the need for self-care. Each of you has your unique lines in the sand. Those lines where you say – where you have to say “Non!” No ….
Each of you has other areas where you may be more flexible – either right away or over time.
You may experience inner conflicts between competing desires. Between longed-for destinations and fears about what the journey might entail.
Each of you has gifts that, when articulated and shared, can bring great benefit to both yourself and the wider world. They might also gain you leverage when you need to ask for what you want and get your needs met.
If talk of leverage feels uncomfortably transactional, remember that self-care (as differentiated from selfish self-interest) is essential for the well-being of the HSP. As members of a minority, we’re not always great at asking for what we want or believing it’s possible to have our needs met. So we don’t ever both to ask … or we ask with such trepidation or boiling point frustration that we misfire and we’re rebuffed, misunderstood, overlooked or ignored.
I don’t suggest giving only with an expectation of something in return – but sharing what’s of value to another enhances your chances … How about we see it as a collateral bonus of sharing our gifts?
What’s important is that you know yourself. That you understand and cherish yourself in the context of being an HSP. That you are able to articulate your gifts and your needs. Set boundaries, employ self-care strategies that support you, share what you bring and ask for what you need.
Through coaching, consultancy and creative exploration, you can learn to do this.
I will work with you to map out your unique HSP landscape. Help you to see and draw your lines in the sand, implement clear boundaries and tailored strategies for self-care. To communicate clearly with an informed knowledge base around high sensitivity to the not so highly sensitive. To build a solid platform from where you can grow and develop, launch yourself and fly.
You can start the process on your own with a commitment to discover and learn what you can about Sensory Processing Sensitivity and being an HSP.
If you wish to dig deeper and climb higher, I am here as a resource to help you. As a coach, consultant, speaker, artist, writer, creative thinker and explorer, facilitator, change catalyst. And liberator of square pegs from round holes!
Like a kitten with a ball of string …. as if by magic ….