To ‘P’ or not to ‘P’

Rest assured, I’m not getting intimate with the workings of your bladder control!

Nope. This kind of Pee is P for Positivity. All singing, all dancing, never a dull moment of Negativity allowed.

How good is this for you? Especially if, like me, you are an HSP (highly sensitive person).

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Whilst there is still a whole heap of stuff online and in print exhorting us to adopt positive attitudes, positive thinking etc. etc. etc. I’ve also noticed recently the beginnings of a backlash. Or at least a murmuring groundswell of recalibration. A questioning.

Here’s my take. Yes do the Gratitude Journals. Yes, try as much as you can to see the world (the Universe) as benign rather than malign or indifferent – much as that can be a challenge at the moment in the wake of viscous wars, terror attacks, scary world leaders and an utter contempt for the needs of the poor.

But yes, even when times are tough – and perhaps even more so when times are tough and you’re highly sensitive and the troubled times can drag you down – do stick with the gratitude and compassion and love for any beauty that comes your way. It doesn’t have to mean you’re guilty of being gullibly delusional. And it can lift you up. So, please, by all means, do it!

And, at the same time there is also the notion of “what we resist persists”. It’s not healthy to repress your negative emotions. Not healthy to pretend they don’t exist, that they’re not there. If you do that they mostly likely will come back to bite you.  Perhaps in the form of anxiety and depression. Perhaps in the form of physical symptoms and/or auto-immune disorders. Perhaps a combination of all sorts.

So please, by all means appreciate the good vibes. And, equally, accept yourself and allow what is to ‘be’ even when you’re drowning in some so-called ‘bad’ vibes. Don’t judge yourself harshly. Don’t drive yourself nuts worrying about vibrational frequencies or whatever else things like the Law of Attraction might try to tell you. Is just another stick to beat you with.

Sure, if you’re able to come up with a range of perspectives, positive and negative, then focusing only on the negative may drag you further down. But focusing only on the positive might give you a false lift up and then a harder fall from a higher place later on.

Best way, it seems to me, is to acknowledge and accept the negative – allow it, grieve for it – do whatever you need to do to accept it and accept yourself within it – and also turn your focus to the positives and remember what good you have around you and inside you.


Where a positive focus surely can help is in supporting you to make the choices and take the actions you need to take to move things forward and closer to where you’re aiming at. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Sometimes it takes reaching out for a helping hand – and trusting that you will be okay whatever the hand brings forth.

With only a negative focus you are more likely to stay stuck and chronically risk averse.

With only a positive focus you risk denying that intuitive part of you that notices what other don’t; that awareness of possible danger that Elaine Aron terms the “pause-to-check” system. You don’t want to lose that.

What you may need though is Balance. And Hope. And Acceptance.

So, to ‘P’ or not to ‘P’?    ‘P’ for Permission.

Lots of love


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